I’m happy to announce that Grace and Poise has a new address. You can visit our all-new website here – www.graceandpoise.wordpress.com
We will still keep this address available, but we will update all our articles to the new address.
Thank you,
Clare
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
The Art of Introduction
Human beings are naturally social creatures. Many of us love the novelty of meeting new people and making new friends. But this would not be possible without a common language and a set of rules for putting it into practice. That set of rules is called… etiquette!
Introductions
Fear not. Everyone makes mistakes and gets a little nervous when introducing people.
If you make a mistake don’t worry about it, and certainly don’t fuss. Apologize, if you feel that is appropriate, and get it right next time.
When introducing people, make sure both parties can clearly hear what you are saying. An important point to remember is that, as with written communication, you must be consistent about the use or non-use of titles. In other words, say you are introducing two of your friends, an older one titled ‘Lady Sara’ and a younger one titled ‘Mrs. Jones’. If you refer to your friend as Smith as ‘Lady’, you must refer to your friend Jones as ‘Mrs’ when you introduce them. Otherwise, it’s Sara Smith and Mary Jones.
So here’s what you’re supposed to do and say.
1. Men are introduced to women, although there are exceptions. (See point 2).
Formally, you would say, ‘Mrs. Watson, may I introduce Mr. Chapman.’
Less formally, you might say, ‘Sharon Watson, this is Duncan Chapman.’
Informally, it might be as simple as, ‘Sharon, this is Duncan.’
2. If the man is very well known, the other person is introduced to him. For example, ‘Professor Bell, may I introduce Mrs. Foster.’
Less formally, you might say, Phillip Bell, this is Rose Foster.’
Informally, ‘Phillip this is Rose’
3. Younger women are introduced to older women.
Formally: ‘Mrs. Martin, may I introduce Miss Dalafas.’
Less Formally: Amiee Martin, this is Vanessa Dalafas’
Informally: ‘Amiee this is Vanessa’
4. Younger men are introduced to older men.
Formally: ‘Mr. Groves, may I introduce Mr. Donaldson.’
Less formally: ‘Peter Groves this is John Donaldson’
Informally: ‘Peter this is John’
5. Children are always introduced to adults. The adult’s title should be used unless you know that he or she prefers not to have it mentioned.
‘Mr. Stewart, I don’t think you have met my daughter, Mary’
6. When you introduce people of the same sex and similar age, the one who is less important should be introduced to the other.
Formally: ‘Dr. Noble, may I introduce Mr. Ord.’
Less formally: John Noble this is Ian Ord.’
Informally: ‘John this is Ian’
It’s a tricky one, this, if you are introducing two people with big egos so be careful who you choose. If you want to be the soul of tact, and wriggle out of it, you may say, ‘I’m sure you two notables must know each other already’ and leave it to them to introduce themselves.
7. Couples should be introduced separately, not as a unit, even if they are married and the wife has taken her husband’s name.
Formally, she is Mrs. Jennifer Latimer.
Informally, ‘Jennifer Latimer.’
If the wife uses her maiden name in business, she may or may not want to use it in private life. Find out before you make the introductions. If she prefers her maiden name, then formally she is Ms. Jennifer Ward.
8. If a woman is a widow, she is still addressed by her late husband’s name – that is, Mrs. Jennifer Latimer. If she is divorced, it is not correct of her to use her former husband’s given name, so she becomes Mrs. Jennifer Ward.
It is also important that before you leave two people you’ve just introduced, to rummage for some topic they might have in common, give them a lead:
“Dr. Noble has just done a interesting search on the common cold.’ The Wards have just moved from Copenhagen to Århus.’
What to Reply When You Are Introduced
‘How do you do’ is the formal response, when you are introduced to someone. On no means, take it as a enquiriy about your health, by saying, ‘I’m well’ or worse, ‘I’m good’. A popular, reply is ‘Hello’ which should do in occasions, other than strictly formal ones; some people say ‘Hi’ but that is too casual for anything than the most informal occasions.
It is permissible to say, ‘I’m delighted to meet you!’ but ‘Pleased to meet you’ is an absolute no-no’.
Here is some helpful tips, when you are introduced to someone.
· Greet the person with a cheery smile
· Look the person in the eye.
· When you meet someone that you have never met before, repeat their name. An easy tip, on how to remember their name is to associate their name with a rhyme: Fairy Mary; Tom the Pom; Phil the bill; racy Tracy. Make sure any irreverence remains unspoken.
Introductions
Fear not. Everyone makes mistakes and gets a little nervous when introducing people.
If you make a mistake don’t worry about it, and certainly don’t fuss. Apologize, if you feel that is appropriate, and get it right next time.
When introducing people, make sure both parties can clearly hear what you are saying. An important point to remember is that, as with written communication, you must be consistent about the use or non-use of titles. In other words, say you are introducing two of your friends, an older one titled ‘Lady Sara’ and a younger one titled ‘Mrs. Jones’. If you refer to your friend as Smith as ‘Lady’, you must refer to your friend Jones as ‘Mrs’ when you introduce them. Otherwise, it’s Sara Smith and Mary Jones.
So here’s what you’re supposed to do and say.
1. Men are introduced to women, although there are exceptions. (See point 2).
Formally, you would say, ‘Mrs. Watson, may I introduce Mr. Chapman.’
Less formally, you might say, ‘Sharon Watson, this is Duncan Chapman.’
Informally, it might be as simple as, ‘Sharon, this is Duncan.’
2. If the man is very well known, the other person is introduced to him. For example, ‘Professor Bell, may I introduce Mrs. Foster.’
Less formally, you might say, Phillip Bell, this is Rose Foster.’
Informally, ‘Phillip this is Rose’
3. Younger women are introduced to older women.
Formally: ‘Mrs. Martin, may I introduce Miss Dalafas.’
Less Formally: Amiee Martin, this is Vanessa Dalafas’
Informally: ‘Amiee this is Vanessa’
4. Younger men are introduced to older men.
Formally: ‘Mr. Groves, may I introduce Mr. Donaldson.’
Less formally: ‘Peter Groves this is John Donaldson’
Informally: ‘Peter this is John’
5. Children are always introduced to adults. The adult’s title should be used unless you know that he or she prefers not to have it mentioned.
‘Mr. Stewart, I don’t think you have met my daughter, Mary’
6. When you introduce people of the same sex and similar age, the one who is less important should be introduced to the other.
Formally: ‘Dr. Noble, may I introduce Mr. Ord.’
Less formally: John Noble this is Ian Ord.’
Informally: ‘John this is Ian’
It’s a tricky one, this, if you are introducing two people with big egos so be careful who you choose. If you want to be the soul of tact, and wriggle out of it, you may say, ‘I’m sure you two notables must know each other already’ and leave it to them to introduce themselves.
7. Couples should be introduced separately, not as a unit, even if they are married and the wife has taken her husband’s name.
Formally, she is Mrs. Jennifer Latimer.
Informally, ‘Jennifer Latimer.’
If the wife uses her maiden name in business, she may or may not want to use it in private life. Find out before you make the introductions. If she prefers her maiden name, then formally she is Ms. Jennifer Ward.
8. If a woman is a widow, she is still addressed by her late husband’s name – that is, Mrs. Jennifer Latimer. If she is divorced, it is not correct of her to use her former husband’s given name, so she becomes Mrs. Jennifer Ward.
It is also important that before you leave two people you’ve just introduced, to rummage for some topic they might have in common, give them a lead:
“Dr. Noble has just done a interesting search on the common cold.’ The Wards have just moved from Copenhagen to Århus.’
What to Reply When You Are Introduced
‘How do you do’ is the formal response, when you are introduced to someone. On no means, take it as a enquiriy about your health, by saying, ‘I’m well’ or worse, ‘I’m good’. A popular, reply is ‘Hello’ which should do in occasions, other than strictly formal ones; some people say ‘Hi’ but that is too casual for anything than the most informal occasions.
It is permissible to say, ‘I’m delighted to meet you!’ but ‘Pleased to meet you’ is an absolute no-no’.
Here is some helpful tips, when you are introduced to someone.
· Greet the person with a cheery smile
· Look the person in the eye.
· When you meet someone that you have never met before, repeat their name. An easy tip, on how to remember their name is to associate their name with a rhyme: Fairy Mary; Tom the Pom; Phil the bill; racy Tracy. Make sure any irreverence remains unspoken.
Clare
Monday, February 19, 2007
Hello World!
I have been checking my web stat counter, and I was thrilled to have ‘friends’ visiting from all around the world including some from ACT, Australia; Tennessee, United States; Shanxi, China; Santiago, Chile; New York, United Sates; and finally the beautiful Århus, Denmark! I would like to welcome you all! I am excited to have so many people visiting, my blog!
We have some exciting articles coming soon, I hope you all enjoy your visit here.
Clare
Clare
Image Courtesy- Danish Royal Watchers
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It's Official!
(Crown Prince Frederick & Crown Princess Mary of Denmark pose for an official photograph with their son, Prince Christian)The Danish Royal Watchers has officially given the approval for Grace & Poise to post their photos. As I mentioned in my first post, that I would be using some photos to explicate any moves in the articles. Crown Princess Mary of Denmark proves to be an excellent model, to show feminine deportment.
I would sincerely like to thank gigi and lotte, the contributors of the Danish Royal Watchers, for their kindness in allowing me to use their photographs.
So as I continue to post etiquette articles, I hope that these photographs will be able to explain the articles more practically.
Clare
Photo Credit -- Danish Royal Watchers
Recommended Reading
Yesterday I visited my local library, and there I found this excellent book, entitled “The Penguin Book of Etiquette”, by Marion Van Adlerstein. This book gives all the details from how to behave at a Hindu wedding and how to work a formal invitation!
But I was impressed most by what this book said on the front cover.
“Courtesy begins at home and belongs to the everyday just as much as it does to special occasions. It starts with the cradle and lasts for life. There’s a lot more to it than using the right fork and knowing how to address a duchess. It’s being aware of other people, being kind and considerate to them as you’d like them to be to you. Master that and the world is at your feet.” – Marion Van Adlerstein
Those words touched my heart. We can go into the depths and details of etiquette, how to sit up straight and how to eat an artichoke, but if we don’t have the basic essentials, of showing courtesy and kindness to others, everything else will be of no avail. As you continue to grow in the field of etiquette, the other essentials will naturally flow in.
As I continue to post articles, please send in your thoughts, if you have a favorite book or etiquette site you would like to share – send it though, by posting a comment.
Sincerely Yours,
Clare
But I was impressed most by what this book said on the front cover.
“Courtesy begins at home and belongs to the everyday just as much as it does to special occasions. It starts with the cradle and lasts for life. There’s a lot more to it than using the right fork and knowing how to address a duchess. It’s being aware of other people, being kind and considerate to them as you’d like them to be to you. Master that and the world is at your feet.” – Marion Van Adlerstein
Those words touched my heart. We can go into the depths and details of etiquette, how to sit up straight and how to eat an artichoke, but if we don’t have the basic essentials, of showing courtesy and kindness to others, everything else will be of no avail. As you continue to grow in the field of etiquette, the other essentials will naturally flow in.
As I continue to post articles, please send in your thoughts, if you have a favorite book or etiquette site you would like to share – send it though, by posting a comment.
Sincerely Yours,
Clare
(Photo Courtesy, Penguin Books Australia)
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